| parenting | 7 Sep 2009 |
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| The Yearning Inside of Us: the back-to-school blues by Deborah Donndelinger | Comment (0) |
For those of us with children in school or co-ops, fall has a particular bitter-sweetness to it. This is when we let go of our children a little bit more, sending them into a wider world where they grow and strenghten their ties to others beyond the family. Ouch. Just writing that sentence sends emotion through me -- this deep maternal protection I have of wanting to keep my children safe and at home -- and this knowing that my children are expanding and growing and creating.
My family is an unschooling family so I'm pretty radical and comfortable with my education beliefs and choices. I'm willing to buck the system if it doesn't work for my children.
But what about mothers who feel compelled to follow the rules even if it doesn't feel good?
What about mothers who have to cut off a bit of their maternal connection just to send their children off?
How do we know when we are being too protective and when we are being true to our children?
I remember when I wouldn't read Mothering magazine -- it was too painful because I was still making choices that weren't in alignment for me and Mothering just showed me folks who were comfortable with their choices. The contrast was what I needed to make some dramatic changes in my life.
So I'm going to ask each and every one of you who is a parent to look at where are you feeling some parenting pain? Where are you not following your own intuition because it's too painful to do so? Where are you choosing to fit in rather than give your child what they need? And where is okay that we are compromising?
Pretty painful questions -- and I know that we are brave enough to look at them.
Our children are a different consciousness than we are. They expect, demand, invite, insprire us to claim more of our own power. Now if we don't accept the invitation, that's okay. They'll survive. But the benefits of stepping up to the challenge and being willing to reclaim our own power are endless. By listening to the call to honor our own intuition, we end up being more of ourselves even once the children are grown. Pretty cool how that works out. We think we are doing it for them, but really we are doing it for ourselves. Mmmmm .......
With love for all,
Deborah