| Love, Loss, Homeland, Family Matrix, Family Energetics, EFT, Ancestors | 6 Mar 2009 |
 |
| When we choose to leave by Deborah Donndelinger |
  |
Hello friends,
Below is a powerful tapping script that comes from my work with the family matrix and EFT. Please do leave questions and comments -- it's very useful to me and others ...
I invite you to expand your concept of family and home for just a bit and see how our hearts still carry our history of many generations ....
When we choose to leave
The U.S. is known for being somewhat mobile – folks move around the countryfor work, for jobs, to go to school, to follow their dreams, or to find a better life. The unspoken price of moving around is leaving our families. In fact, if you look at the energy of the U.S. as a whole,we all left someplace to come here. Whether our parents, ourgrandparents, or generations before, we chose, or were forced to leave, our homeland.
This hidden loss of our homeland can show up in our lives today as an entanglement – basically that means that part of ourenergy is still tied to our ancestor’s homeland and until we can see and name and feel and accept that loss and connection, we won’t fullyfind our places here.
So, think of your family heritage. Which homeland was left behind? Imagine facing that history and feeling the emotion in your body. Tap as you go and see how this shifts from hidden loss to forgotten love.
Set-Up Phrase
Even though I left, and I had no choice, I am willing to see what I left.
Even though I was glad to leave, I wanted to go, I am willing to see the price I paid.
Even though my family left, part of us still belongs to our heritage and homeland.
The Points
Eyebrow: I had to leave.
Side of the Eye: We had to leave.
Under the Eye: They had to leave.
Nose: I tried to ignore it.
Chin: I tried to pretend roots don’t matter.
Collarbone: But how can I ignore centuries of roots?
Under the arm: Our homelands have a unique energy.
Head: Our homelands have a unique place in our hearts.
Eyebrow: It’s okay to mourn my history.
Side of the Eye: It’s okay to claim my history.
Under the Eye: It’s okay to see my history.
Nose: It’s okay to mourn my ancestral homeland.
Chin: As I accept my family’s historical homeland, I can take my place in my current home.
Collarbone: I can love both my ancestor’s homeland and my own.
Under the arm: This loss is also a love.
Head: My ancestors couldn’t see what they left behind.
Eyebrow: My ancestors couldn’t mourn what they lost.
Side of the Eye: They could only look forward.
Under the Eye: But part of them was missing.
Nose: I am willing to honor my past as I look forward.
Chin: I am willing to honor my homeland.
Collarbone: I am willing to honor my ancestors.
Under the arm: I am willing to take my rightful place in my current home,
Head: while seeing the past that brought me here.
Subscribe to this comment's feed
written by Jade Barbee, March 07, 2009
Thanks for remembering grief. Sometimes the need to grieve is invisible to me - for what what I chose to leave - the many people and places I've left. Thanks for helping to awaken me to the need to mourn the loss and honor those who also lost something or left a part of themselves behind.
peace,
Jade
-
- +1
-
-
written by Lynne Shaner, March 07, 2009
Dear Deborah,
This is so powerful. When I first read the phrases, I felt a frisson, and when I tapped all through the sequence, like Betty I found tears coming to my eyes. (I also felt tingles and a shiver down my back). I felt as if a deep chorus inside me was acknowledged. This is beautiful and powerful work. Thank you for all that you are doing with this.
with love,
Lynne
-
- +0
-
-
written by Paul Zelizer, March 08, 2009
During one of the most difficult times of my life, I turned to Family Constellations (as well as EFT). One important piece of work I did during that time was to trace a tendency for the men in my family to struggle in the workplace. The facilitator helped me trace this to my family's need to flee Eastern Europe and the resulting feelings of being strangers in a strange land. Your script reminds me of the incredible healing that happened when we addressed this. I love what your doing Deborah.
With much love,
Paul
-
- +0
-
-
written by Kathy Brown, March 25, 2009
Thanks so much for this. I was moved to tears by this powerful sentence: "...see how this shifts from hidden loss to forgotten love." It brought me to my knees in grief, not only for the loss of my ancestors' heritage/homeland but for all the losses in my life....yes, I forgot, loss means I love what I had.....how wonderful to remember the love. powerful stuff, you're awesome.
much love,
Kathy
-
- +0
-
-
written by Karen Nauman, March 26, 2009
Really looking forward to your Family Energetics (Family Matrix) free teleclass on April 16th/09. AND hoping that will be leading to a teleclass series we can attend. What you have to share on this topic is extremely valuable!
Karen
Karen Nauman
-
- +0
-
-
written by Patzia Gonzalez, February 11, 2010
I too am a Family Constellations Practitioner and an EFT-Cert1. I love the way you are combining both. I recently relocated to Canada. I "didn't have to" leave, I chose it. Once I arrived in this new country, it was very difficult until I honored all my family members who had "had to leave" and recognize that I was following them. Basically they relocated within the same country --Mexico-- during the Revolution, and they were not allowed to mourn what they lost, and could only move forward. Thank you, this helped me today integrate and bow deeply to my ancestors fate.
Gratefully,
Patzia
-
- +0
-
-
I just went through your tapping process and it brought tears. My ancestry is Scotch-Irish -- I've looked into the genealogy. The two expressions that come to mind are hardscrabble existence and dirt-poor farmers. They had no choice and could not mourn the loss of their homeland. Wow. To tap for that is so powerful. Thank you, I really feel it.
My favorite singer-songwriter is Dougie McLean from Scotland. The way he sings about the land and the people has always moved me so deeply. "Caledonia is calling me and I'm going home" (Caledonia = Scotland)
Thank you. I really think this is hitting something deep. You are dong beautiful work, Deborah.
much love, Betty