this blog originally appeared at thesagemama.com  

I have been grumpy for the last six years of my life. After my first son was born, I recovered quickly. By recover, I mean regaining the same state of health I had before my pregnancy. After my daughter was born less than two years later, I didn't recover quite as quickly. I found myself more stressed and worn out and short-tempered. Afterr my third child was born, I became permanently grumpy (well almost.)

I told myself that once the children started sleeping through the night (which took years each), I'd feel better. But I didn't. I told myself that I just needed some time to myself. Or I needed more time connecting with the children. Or I needed to develop more outside interests. Or I needed to spend more time at home ....

No matter what I tried, and my children are now 5, 7 and 8 years old, I couldn't feel better. I gained weight and ate weirdly and while I do exercise quite a bit and have a variety of outside interests, I just can't seem to get back my zest. It's like having PMS all the time.

More...

I've worked with a homeopath for several years, I've worked with  nutritionists, I've worked with therapists and done tons of tapping.

It's getting better but I'm still a grouch. This week I finally found an answer that makes sense to me.

I went to see a friend who's studying herbal medicine. After a two hour assessment with her, I met with her supervisor to review my case. He told me that I had a classic set of symptoms and that I just haven't recovered yet from the extended nursing. [I nursed straight for eight years with each child weaning between three and four years. Having children less than two years apart means that I tandem nursed twice and also through two pregnancies.] I fed my children with nutrients (one specific thing being fats from my brain) from my body and I haven't adequately replaced them yet. I've gotten worn down and am drawing on my reserves for just daily activities.

I am such an advocate for extended nursing that it seems weird to acknowledge that I paid a physical price to do so. However, I feel tremendous relief, and hope, when I realize there's a reason for how I feel. I felt such relief when the herbal guy told me that all of my symptoms fit together and there is a definite herbal approach that can help me. Most folks I talk to just don't get how broken my body feels and how out of whack I am.

I wouldn't trade the co-sleeping or the nursing for anything in the world, but for me, it's taken me a bit longer to recover than I expected. My diet just didn't adequately support me in my pregnancies and extended nursing. While I am a big fan of Weston Price's work on nutrition, I didn't discover his work until much later and I just didn't have the base of good nutrition to support me.

It's ironic to write this because herbal medicine is my last choice to turn to. I don't understand it and I have never been interested. My first choice of medicine is homeopathy and EFT. I've had marvelous successes with both. The only reason I went in for this consult was because I enjoy seeing this friend and wanted to check it out.

I write this to offer hope, and more importantly, understanding to every mother that feels worn out. And while there are many contributing causes, there are also many ways out. Here's to all the awesome mothers in the world who want, with every fiber of their being, to be with their children in a wholesome, loving way. May you find the way that serves you best.